Bus Stops Ep. 1 & 2

Title: Bus Stops Ep. 1
Studio: Girlfriends Films
Staring: India Summer, Amber Chase, Prinzzess, Moxie Madden, Tammy
Rating:

Title: Bus Stop Ep. 2
Studio: Girlfriends Films
Staring: India Summer, Prinzzess, Amber Chase, KC Kelly, Naomi Doll, Elsie Graves
Rating:

Dear Girlfriends Films…What the fuck?  Seriously?!?  Here I was all excited about a new series because I could watch it from the beginning.   More than anything I hate coming in on something after it’s started and I have no idea what is going on.  In this case, coming in from the beginning didn’t help any because Bus Stops makes no damn sense.  Is it wrong of me to say that I am looking forward to episode three with the hopes that it explains episodes one and two?

Episode One started out on an almost sane note with an early 70’s hippie feel to it complete with VW Bus and Prinzzess harassing India Summer.  Prinzzess wanted a ride to where ever, she really didn’t care, and decided India was going to take her.  Even when India told her no Prinzzess pretty much made a very rude pest of herself and got what she wanted.   When they arrived at India’s friends house, after making Prinzzess sit in the bus for who knows how long, asked her friend to turn her out for her and introduced the two of them.

This was one of those scenes that starts out with forced sex and then Prinzzess deciding she wanted to go along with it.  Okay, fine.  That wasn’t the creepiest thing that happened.  India later takes her home and has sex with her herself.  She then loads Prinzzess up in the VW Bus (I am assuming this is where the name Bus Stops comes from, this VW Bus) after finding her sneaking a couple dollars into her purse to pay her back for a hamburger and drops her off outside a correctional facility assuming she is just going to walk right in and make herself at home.

Yes.  You read that right.  Prinzzess was in India’s wallet giving her two dollars for a hamburger and India caught her and accused her of stealing.  Loads her up and drops her off outside a correctional facility and hopes that she is going to go right in and stay.  That really makes no sense in any world.  From there things just fell apart and all hopes of anything making sense were thrown out the door.

Next we see Prinzzess she has shown up a hotel room with Naomi Doll and Moxie Maddon and tells them to practice on each other why she goes and talks to some other girl she seen on the way up.  Uh??  The point to this?  And why are we going to something totally random with a girl saying good-by to her mother for some school thing?

Oh, that’s why.  Because Prinzzess is showing up at the hotel room again and kicking out Naomi and Maddon with the this girl, a classmate and her teacher (Tammy, Amber Chase, Elsie Graves).  Prinzzess then starts asking all kinds of questions that are both bizarre and creepy questions along the lines of “Have you ever felt up your students?”  She then has them engage in a three-way which she has no part of.

Episode makes even less sense.  More unexplained sex in a hotel room.  India Summer showing up out of nowhere and asking Prinzzess why she didn’t stay at the correctional facility.  A forced sex scene that was supposed to be some sort of weird bondage scene with choking that just ended up looking like some fucked up and really disturbing rape scene and some other crap that I am not even going to waste time on.

Girlfriends Films is supposed to be one of the top lesbian studios and I have read so many good things about them from the other reviewers on this site, so again, I ask, what the fuck?  Can someone explain this series to me?  The sex set ups are down right creepy in most instances, and those that aren’t creepy are bizarre.  There is nothing sexy about either of these movies and the highlight is looking at India Summer.  However, India’s presence doesn’t make up for what is probably the worst lesbian porn ever, and maybe the worst porn I have ever watched.  Hopefully with Episode three Girlfriends Films can save face and turn this series around.

Lesbian Prison

Title: Lesbian Prison
Studio: Marc Dorcel
Director: Tony Del Duomo
Staring: Claudia Rossi, Lucy Lee, Tarra White, Christina Jolie, Chantal Ferrera, Eufrat, Luciana, Mia Vendrome, Lena Cova, Ashley Robbins, June Kelly
Rating:

I know what you are thinking.  “What the hell?  You watched a lesbian movie?  You don’t like lesbian movies!”  All I can say in my defense is that I am an adult movie reviewer and I need to be familiar with everything that is put out so that means watching an occasional lesbian movie.  I mean, does it really matter though if it’s a feature of some sort?  I can fast forward through the sex like everyone else fast forwards through the plot.  Right?

Anyway, I think Lesbian Prison would have been really cool if I had been able to understand it.  Here’s the thing, it looks like AEBN has two versions up.  One dubbed in English and one in the original French.  I was sent a copy of the French movie and I don’t understand a word of French.    The upside is I didn’t have the English voice-overs that are not necessarily translated properly that give me flashbacks to Godzilla movies.  After watching Private’s Sluts in the City I will be happy if I never see another movie with translated voice-overs.  I will say this, subtitles would have been nice.  It would have prevented me from guessing at what was going on.   At some point, watching a foreign film with no sub-titles you start making up your own dialog.

Lesbian Prison claims to be a series of confessions from one of the women who served time in Russia’s hardest womens prison where punishment quickly turns to pleasure and vice versa.

When a fight breaks out in the prison between two of the inmates and one of the inmates ends up in the infirmary, the nurse has a very special way to nurse her back to health.   Then there was the scene where the small cell “door” where food is passed through.  The inmate went to take her cup of soup when her hand was grabbed and the full soup cup was thrown to the floor.  The inmate is then groped through the food door in some sort of weird glory-hole type scene.

The shower scene was kind of weird.  One of the inmates was subjected to an anal cavity search while everyone else looked on.  That anal cavity search turned on a number of the other inmates and after the guard who conducted it left the one who was searched was the willing victim of a lesbian gangbang.

The guards would randomly pick girls in their cells to “rape” with strap-ons and night sticks.  However, those were some of the most willing rape victims I have ever seen.  In fact, one inmate was on her hands and knees on her bed waiting for it.

What I found to be the strangest scene had a larger woman (BBW) in it and her cell was decorated to look like a her own personal shrine and everyone that entered was her bitch and would have to feed her and have sex with her or someone else in the cell she decided on.  It all probably would have made sense if I understood French.

Outside of not understanding a damn thing that anyone said, the movie was really well done and was a visual assault.  This is one of those movies where the setting and costuming is what really made the film.  I don’t think you have to understand what is being said to enjoy everything that is going on so if you are annoyed by English voice-overs as much as I am, you can enjoy the French version.

Lesbian Adventures: Victorian Love Letters

Title: Lesbian Adventures: Victorian Love Letters
Studio: Sweetheart Video
Director: Nica Noelle
Staring: Nina Hartley, Nica Noelle, Melissa Money, Annabelle Lee, Julia Ann, Zoe Britton, Nicole Ray, Magdalene St. Michaels
Rating:

Filmed in a restored (or nearly restored) Victorian mansion, Victorian Love Letters tells the story of four womens love letters to other women.  Can you imagine the scandal that would have caused back then?  I think these women knew as well because they didn’t want to discuss the letters.

Magdalene St. Michaels found the letter that Nicole Ray had written sitting on the fireplace mantel next to the pen she had borrowed.  Magdalene read the letter and confronted Nicole about it.  Nicole said that it was written to no one, not wanting to own up to who the letter was intended.  This didn’t go over well and Magdalene pulled Nicole over her lap and spanked her until she was convinced Nicole meant what she said when she said she would never write another letter.  Spankings of this sort always lead to sex in porn so you know what happened next.

Melissa Monet is found reading a letter from someone.  It’s very obvious that whoever the letter is from is very dear to her.  The writer says that she will be over that day for tea and to discuss the upcoming wedding to her son and she will make no mention of the letter.  Soon Annabelle Lee arrives and they talk about the wedding plans.  Annabelle is set to marry her son, but it’s not the son she is interested in.  As she gets up to leave she asks Melissa if there is anything else she wants to discuss.  She claims there isn’t and as Annabelle turns to leave Melissa grabs her and kisses her.  She then drags her upstairs to finish what was started.

Much like Nicole Ray, Zoe Britton is writing love letters to an unknown person and Julia Ann is fed up with it and confronts her wanting to know who they are too.  Boy does Julia get a surprise when Nicole admits that it’s her the letter is to.

Finally we see Nica Noelle reading a love letter from Nina Hartley.  Nica is quite taken with her but doesn’t know what to do.  She has Nina and another friend over (I am pretty sure it was Magdalene from the first scene) for an afternoon visit.  Nica’s friends leave her after their afternoon visit and Nica is left standing there looking disappointed Nina didn’t stay but relieved she had left.  That is until she returns.  Nica asks if she forgot something and the two women embrace and kiss desperately.  Upstairs Nina introduces Nica to a naughty yet delightful toy her husband brought back from China.

A lot of care went into Victorian Love Letters.  The Victorian mansion where it was filmed was beautiful, even if you could tell that renovations were underway in one of the scenes where the camera person didn’t quite shot the scene from the right angle where the audience didn’t see the partially painted wall.  The costuming was authentic and added very much to the ambiance of the movie and the forbidden lesbian love of the time that was the focus.

Elexis Unleashed

Title: Elexis Unleashed
Studio: Girlfriends Films
Director: Nica Noelle
Staring: Elexis Monroe, Lily Cade, Ariel X, Sin Sage, Michelle Lay, Misty Stone
Rating:

I have to start this review with some bad news.  I only got to watch half the movie because my computer only likes some DVDs now that I have upgraded to Windows 7.  Seems I need to update my movie watching software.  I also haven’t found my DVD remote since moving.  That makes things a little interesting.  Unfortunately I don’t know what DVDs are going to give me issues and which ones aren’t until I pop them into the computer.  I can’t say that it’s just one studio and send those movies off to another reviewer because it’s just random movies from all studios.  So, with that out of the way….on with a review of the first half of Elexis Unleashed.

Elexis Monroe just turned 30 years old and is thinking about retiring from porn.  She’s considering taking on a normal life, after all 30 is considered “old” in porn.  Well, that may have been true in years past but these days MILFs and cougars are pretty damn popular.  Maybe she didn’t get that memo.  Anyway, this is the news she crashes her own birthday with.  After the party she falls asleep on the couch and starts dreaming of what her normal life will be like.

She arrives for a job interview as a personal assistant.  The person she will be assisting is Nina Hartley.  During the interview she tries very hard not to tell what her previous job was.  Nina questions her about why the life change, and is she sure it’s something she wants to do.  Now things get a little weird.  Nina makes like the Ghost of Christmas Past and tells Elexis to close her eyes, they are going on a journey into the past.

So here we have flashbacks into past lives during a dream sequence.

Stop one is 1897 where Elexis is dictating a letter to her secretary who she believes to be a charming young man.  After he’s done for the day Elexis confides to a friend or relative, not sure who it was, that she was taken with her secretary.  “But he’s so much younger, it would be scandalous.”  Yes it would.  She said she would never act on it though.

The next day her secretary arrives and finds her in her room masturbating.  The secretary apologizes and tries to leave but Elexis doesn’t allow it.  She’s decided that she’s going to seduce the boy.  As things heat up she slides her hand between his legs and is taken aback.  “Where is it?”   She orders him to strip in front of her.  The truth is revealed.  Her secretary is a woman played by Lilly Cade.  She was masquerading as a young man where she could get work.  Elexis tells her that she is beautiful and admits that she has never had sex with a woman before.  Lilly is more than happy to make that initiation.

The second stop that Nina takes Elexis to is 1945.  In this time period Elexis is working as a pin up girl with Ariel X.  After the photo shoot the two of them are in a bedroom changing and talking about the sweethearts they have who are off fighting in the war and how they are getting married when the war is over.  They also talk about how each other is prettier than the top models of the time and they are sure that each other is going to make it bigger than them.  There is also talk of shopping.  All this girl talk slowly turns a bit uncomfortable and physically intimate.

It is right at the end of this scene where my computer decided it didn’t want to finish playing the DVD and I couldn’t see the scene with Elexis and Misty Stone or the three-way with Elexis, Sin Sage and Michelle Lay.  If I could find the remote to my DVD player I could have finished watching the movie.  What I seen of Elexis Unleashed it was rather enjoyable.  Quite the different story than you normally get with porn.  The costumes were very time period specific and really made the movie what it was.  I wish I could finish watching it.  I am not real big on lesbian movies but Sweetheart Video brings a bit more to the table than your average video from most of the popular hetro studios.

Riot Grrrls

Title: Riot Grrrls
Studio: Burning Angel
Director: Joanna Angel
Staring: Audrey Angel, Allister, Candence St. John, Jayded, Eden Von Sleaze, Jessie Lee, Nova TA, Pixie Pearl, Mandy Morbid, Aphyxia
Rating:

I had really hoped to have this review for everyone days ago but my computer decided it didn’t want to play nice anymore and I had to resolve that problem before I could do anything else.  While it’s not totally resolved, temporary solutions have been found and now I can bring you the review for Burning Angels all girl feature, Riot Grrrls.

From the Urban Dictionary:

riot grrrl – A grassroots third wave feminist movement deeply connected to the punk rock scene in the early and mid 1990’s. Mostly youth oriented, riot grrrl was neither an organization or a specific thought, but instead thrived on non-hierarchical “chapters” set up across America and parts of Europe connecting mostly young women with music, a thriving zine scene , and direct political action…[feminism on the punk scene]

Now, I am not 100% sure any of the lovely ladies in Riot Grrrl in fact embody that definition, but they certainly embody the look.  If anyone looks too closely they are going to assume, once again, that feminism and lesbianism go hand in hand and that isn’t always the case.  This is porn people, don’t try to analyze it.  It’s not meant to be analyzed.  It’s meant to be enjoyed and believe me, a lot of people love watching two girls together.  The logic is “who knows how to please a girl more than another girl?”  When I make the same argument for guys in gay porn I always get the “you are off your rocker” look.  Such double standards.  Tsk tsk.

What we have with Riot Grrrls is Joanna Angel featuring some of the hottest punk girls in porn doing their thing with other girls and it all starts with Aphyxia showing up to give Allister a lame singing telegram that she sings horribly into a dildo.  I know what you are thinking, and trust me when I say it works.  It only takes Aphyxia moments to get right down to business doing what she was probably really sent there to do…please Allister long time.  She even makes use of that dildo she was singing into.

I always like seeing Mandy Morbid in movies.  I wish she would do more of them.  Right now she is traveling doing a book tour with Zak (Smith) Sabbath for his new book, We Did Porn (something I hope to have a review for everyone very soon.  Yes, I know, everyone else already has up the reviews, but better late than never I guess).  Anyway, back to Riot Grrrs, Mandy is pacing back and forth waiting for her guest to show up saying she hopes her guest is hot and how she is sick of the creepy men she meets on the internet.  We are all sick of creepy men from the internet.  Her guest is none other than Pixie Pearl who misunderstood that she was visiting and not staying.  Mandy explained to her, “We haven’t even had sex, how do we know it’s going to work?”  Pixie sets right to work proving that it will work between them, at least sexually.  Easily the hottest scene in the movie, and I am not just saying that because I am partial to Mandy Morbid.  In general I am not a fan of all girl movies but this is one of the rare exceptions.

This scene gave me a bit of a laugh because  Cadence St. John is doing what she can to get her boyfriend out of the house where she can have her way with Jayded.  After seeing what a geek her boyfriend is, I can understand why.  What is a hot punker girl doing with a geek?  Opposites attract, what else can I say?  That simple law of physics explains so much in this world.  Cadence fakes being ill so her boyfriend goes off to a rave by himself leaving the girls alone to do what girls do when the boys are away.

I hate it when this happens.  I don’t remember crap about the next scene between Eden Von Sleaze (I love the name) and Envy Vicious other than at one point two dildos/vibrators were used.  Why isn’t this scene more memorable?  Is it my fault or the fault of the movie?

The next scene opens right off with action.  Nova T.A. is really getting into her blue dildo when Jessie Lee returns home.  Nova tries very hard to hide that she’s been masturbating by attempting to sit in such a way that the dildo isn’t noticeable while Jessie shows off the new tattoo she’s gotten on the inside of her thigh.  Nova reaches behind her and starts playing with the dildo again, trying to be inconspicuous but Jessie notices and asks “What are you doing?”  When she finds out, she again has a question, “Did you miss me that much?”  Jessie is all about pleasing her horny girlfriend.

Finally Audrey Angel is complaining that she wants cake and there is none in the house to be made.  There is frosting though and Audrey decides that Allister needs to be the cake and starts putting frosting in interesting places and licking it off.  I just hope they remembered to clean the counter top when they were done since food is prepared there.

Riot Grrrls is defiantly a must see if you are into hot punk girls and girl on girl sex!

Predator III: The Final Chapter

Title: Predator III: The Final Chapter
Studio: Wicked Pictures
Director: Stormy Daniels
Staring: Stormy Daniels, Brooke Haven, Kylie Ireland, Shyla Stylez, Inda Summer, Abbey Brooks, Lexi Love, Zoe Britton, Annabelle Lee
Rating: Rating:

Purchase Predator III: The Final Chapter, Predator II: The Return or The Predator

Previously I reviewed The Predator and Predator II: The Return for another site and my biggest complaint was that Stormy Daniels didn’t come across crazy enough.  I just have a really hard time believing that Stormy is certifiable.  It’s no reflection on her acting ability but trying to imagine Stormy as being crazy is like trying to imagine Trent Reznor preforming a polka.  It just doesn’t come across as part of her personality.  Then again, it’s always the quiet and seemingly normal ones you have to watch out for.  They are the ones that catch you off guard.  This time around though, with the help of some great camera work by Francois Clousot and editing by Alex Sanders (I didn’t realize he was editing movies now, he’s got some real talent there), I believed that she was just crazy enough.

Another problem that I had with The Predator and Predator II was that a number of her victims seemed to enjoy their place just a little to much.  It was like they were happy to be kidnapped and made her personal sex toys.  That was a bit creepy in itself and made them come across just a bit more insane than Stormy’s character was supposed to be.  Predator III though, there were no happy captives.  This was the dark movie that the other two tried to be and didn’t quite make it.  However, if you take all three movies and look at them as the trilogy they were meant to be instead of stand alone movies you get a different picture.  You get a story of a woman, who does things that only hear of men doing in the real world, preying on beautiful young women, raping them and turning them into sex slaves.  In the beginning some of these women actually enjoy their place as sex slaves.  Stormy’s character has managed to find a way to live in her twisted world out of the view of the authorities.  As time goes on, the comfort bubble she has created is popped and she no longer has that ability.  On the run she stops to fulfill her sexual deviancy and doesn’t have the luxury of being able to keep things neat leading to her capture.  I am not sure if that is how Stormy Daniels wrote the trilogy to come across, but that is how I interpreted  it and I think it works very well.

As Predator III opens it picks up where the last movie ended.  Brooke Haven, who made a brief appearance in Predator II, has returned home after reporting that two of her friends were missing.  She’s got police protection but that hasn’t stopped The Predator from entering her house.  Having gone to sleep, we get a dream sequence of being violated by The Predator.  She wakes up and screams loud enough the police outside hear her and one of them goes to check things out leaving the second officer, played by India Summer, alone.  With Matrix like effects, Stormy jumps from porch to the top of the police car…

Annabelle Lee, Lexi Love and Zoe Britton are parked on an empty road drinking whiskey and bitching about men when a police car pulls up behind them.  Who gets out?  Stormy.  These girls must be pretty damn wasted at this moment (or extra stupid) because they actually believe that she’s an officer.  No cop dresses like that.  Ever.  It’s illegal to drink and drive.  What is she going to do with them?  She forces them into a three way on the top of the car.  Afterward they are tied together naked and left on the side of the road as she drives off with their car.

Stormy then checks into a motel.  It’s one of those things that you find at the edge of town that is kind of run down and you are sure you can also rent rooms by the hour.  Outside the office Shyla Stylez is having an argument with her boyfriend, who has cheated on her.  Stormy catches what is going on and after Shyla walks off, she confronts the boyfriend with a switchblade.  Stormy catches up with Shyla.  “He won’t hurt you again.” She then takes advantage of Shyla right there behind the motel.  Shyla doesn’t seem to mind to much and is really into it the anonymous sex.

As she enters her motel room, Stormy is pulling a rolling luggage bag behind her.  I don’t care what anyone tells you, psychos on the run from the cops don’t travel all that lightly.  They make sure they have what they need in case they have to kidnap a police officer and transport her without drawing attention to themselves.  Yes, India Summer was in the bag.  “You have figured out who I am by now and you know what I like.   Impress me.”  She hands her a large black dildo and India goes to work.  Minutes later Abbey Brooks, the night counter girl at the motel, knocks on her door saying that the people in the room over were just complaining about noise and she needed to check on things.  Stormy doesn’t answer so Abbey enters the room with the master key to find India tied back up on the bed.  Stormy closes the door making Abbey the next victim.  The two are then forced to put on a show for Stormy.

Finished with these two she ties them up naked and leaves them in the closet.  In the motel office she does some instant messaging and finds someone to meet.  Little does she know this is a set up.  She arrives at the address she is given to find a camera crew and after some brief filming she is taken away to the local jail where she meets her match in Kylie Ireland.  It’s a fight for dominance between these two and Annabelle tells her she’s glad Stormy is enjoying herself because she is going to be fucking her for a very long time.

There is one thing that I will never understand about girl/girl prison scenes in porn.  How do they always manage to get sex toys?  I seriously don’t think that dildos and vibrators are allowed in prison.

Overall, a good movie with some incredible sex, and I don’t normally get into all girl features.  I have read a number of things about Predator III that really go on about the final sex scene between Stormy and Annabelle and how it is one of the best performances of Stormy’s career.  It was an awesome scene that everyone of her fans will be thrilled with.