Not the Cosby’s XXX

Title: Not The Cosby’s XXX
Studio: X-Play
Director: Will Ryder
Staring: Missy Stone, Monica Foster, Cassidy Clay,Melody Nakai, Nina Devon, Jenny Hendrix, Sarah Vandella, Tori Black, Jaelyn Fox, Lana Violet, Tyler Knight, Dick James, Tee Reel, Danny Mountain, Jay Ashley, Scott Lyons, Thomas Ward
Rating:

Before I get into this review I need to say something.  People need to lighten up.  Seriously.  I was just over on YouTube getting the trailer to post with the review and I can’t believe how many people have their panties in a twist that a porno version was made of the Cosby’s.  A couple of comments really stuck out to me, one was that Hustler needed to stop with the parodies.  Hustler didn’t make this movie, it was X-Play.  As much as I enjoy Hustlers parodies (This Ain’t Star Trek XXX being one of my favorites), X-Play does the job just a bit better.  It’s the difference between cleaning a table well and polishing it.  X-Play sets the standard, everyone else just tries to live up to it.  This is interracial sex at it’s best.

The other comment that stood out was how a porno of the Cosby Show is wrong because it was such an important TV show.  I am assuming that they are talking about how The Cosby Show was promoted as the first TV show that featured a black family in a positive light.  I have news for everyone, Cliff Huxtable had sex.  How do you think he got his kids?  The stork sure the hell didn’t bring them.

I know that there are a ton of people out there who watched the Cosby Show and wondered just what sort of faces Bill Cosby made while having sex.  I can’t think of one TV show that that I have watched in my entire life that I didn’t wonder what it would be like if one character got it on with another.  It’s just something that creeps into your mind on occasion.  We all knew that Rudy had a thing for Cockroach and for a split second we all wanted to see him bang her.  Through the run of the show we knew Denise had to be popular and putting out because she had so many boyfriends.  Don’t hate on Will Ryder just because he has the balls to cross those sacred lines and put on film what we were all thinking at one time or another.

In fact, Will Ryder and his partner in crime, Scott David, go to such great lengths to recreate everything as close as possible to the original that it could have easily been the original, if TV showed x-rated sitcoms.  I am personally looking forward to the next Not the Cosby’s XXX feature.  I am assuming there is going to be one because on the behind the scenes disk Will Ryder mentioned that this was episode one.  In short, Not the Cosby’s XXX is a perverted act of genius!

The Cast:
Thomas Ward – Cliff
Monica Foster – Claire
Missy Stone – Denise
Tyler Knight – Theo
Cassidy Clay – Sondra
Nina Devon – Rudy
Melody Nakai – Vanessa
Tee Reel – Cockroach

The storyline is a typical 80’s family values sitcom theme, sex, peer pressure and doing the right thing.  Denise is tired of being the only virgin among her friends as she is getting ready to go off to college and is really curious about sex.  She asks everyone for advice, her mom, her older sister and her dad.  Everyone tells her the same thing, and it’s somewhat of a mixed message, that sex is great but she needs to wait and get an education before thinking about such things.  She even goes as far as to tell her older sister that she isn’t as naive as she looks, that she masturbates almost every day.  In fact, that is the first sex scene.  Denise masturbating first with her fingers than a dildo.

The next scene has Denise showing up for a slumber party that her boyfriend, Malik (Dick James) takes her to.  Seems her friend Melody (Jaelyn Fox) decided to spice up the party a bit by inviting some guys to it.  As Denise walks in Charmane (Tori Black) is ready to get it on with (John) Jay Ashley in front of everyone.  In fact, Melody starts to join them when the scene cuts back to Denise and Malik.  Denise is in shock and Malik tells her that if she loved him she would do the same thing for him.  Yea, he’s been pressuring her, even feeding her the line about blue balls that we all know is crap.  After a bit of an argument Denise leaves and Melody tells Malik that he’s too much man for Denise anyway.  The slumber party quickly turns into a four girl two guy orgy.

Denise returns home pissed at Malik and tells her family that Melody invited guys to the slumber party.  Theo hears this and the second Cockroach shows up they are making plans to crash the slumber party.

Only slightly surprising is they are welcomed at the party, even though they weren’t invited, and Theo gets lucky with Charmane while everyone else goes skinny dipping.

The next day Theo is almost caught when Claire delivers a phone message from Charmane prior to Cliff an Claire taking Denise up to the university to take a look around.

In fact, Denise gets a first hand look at the dorm room that Claire lived in during college.  We get to see a flashback of Claire and a guy she breifly dated named Boom Boom (Danny Mountain).

While they are out Cockroach shows up at the Huxtables looking for Theo.  He’s not there so he asks Vanessa if she wants to hang out.  She agrees and he suggests they play Spin the Bottle.  Their game quickly turns into a game of Hide the Sausage.  Yes, Vanessa and Cockroach.  You knew it was going to happen.  How could it not?

Finally, Denise looses her virginity to a college senior she met while at the university with her parents, Patrick (Scott Lyons).  Go figure, she wouldn’t have sex with the guy she had been dating for weeks but was willing to losoe her virginity to some guy she just met because she didn’t want to be the only virgin among her friends.  We can only assume that Patrick was less of a jerk than Malik.   She’s pretty happy with her decision even though Patrick is a bit surprised and insists on banging her on her parents bed.

As always, Will Ryder does a wonderful job recreating the look and feel of the original sitcom.  Thomas Ward, the comedian that plays Cliff Huxtable, recreates the character flawlessly.  I am not sure how many doors this is going to open for him, but anyone who watches Not the Cosby’s XXX will not forget his performance anytime soon.  Grab a Jell-O Pudding Pop and enjoy the show!